Layers

"Do you know the muffin man?"
"The muffin man?"
"The muffin man."
"Yes, I know the muffin man...who lives on Drury Lane?"
"Well, she's married to the muffin man."
"The Muffin Man?"
"THE MUFFIN MAN!!"
"She's married to the muffin man...?"

"GUYS!" Lita held her sides from laughter, "Come on; the finger puppets were cute, but reenacting the whole scene with baked potatoes is taking it too far."

Edge sighed and placed his potato right-side-up before splitting it in half and digging out its insides, "OK," He sighed, "Come on, you've gotta admit it was the coolest movie ever!"

"Yeah!" Said Chris Benoit, around a mouthful of baked potato, "The special effects; you can see every little hair on Donkey's face ripple, if you want to."

"You and the special effects," Lilian sighed, "It was the SCRIPT! Have you ever seen beauty put to the screen with....humor." She concluded, running out of proper descriptive adjectives.

"The fart jokes!" Chris added, "The fart jokes were just awesome!" Lilian winced away from him, slightly repulsed. A nervous expression overcame his features and he went back to nibbling on his steak.

Lita coughed, "Poor Princess Fiona; I don't know how that old rotting castle could support all of her weight, though..."

"Well, I guess switching back and forth from human from to ogre form would sort of even the floors out a little.." Edge explained.

"Yeah, but what did she eat? Roasted up knights?" Benoit asked

"How attractive," Lilian muttered, staring at her roasted ribs.

"Sorry," Chris hissed, staring in embarrassment at his steak.

Lita shared a look with her fiancée; thus far, Chris and Lilian's first date was not working out even close to the way they'd hoped. Chris suddenly rose from the table.

"Edge. Can. Now."

Edge blinked as he stood, staring at his compatriot, "Should I bring my Caveman-to-English dictionary?"

Chris groaned, "Just come on!"

Somehow, they ended up in the men's room, which Chris began to pace.

"I shouldn't've quit smoking cigs this month, E."

"You're that nervous?" Edge asked as he studied himself briefly in the bathroom's mirror.

"Yeah," He breathed, "I...fuck, I don't want to screw up with Lil," He raked a hand through his reddish hair and added, "I'm all layered up, like an onion."

"It's something you have in common with Shrek," Shrugged Edge, "And you know that chicks dig Shrek."

He laughed mirthlessly, "I don't think she likes me, E."

"Well," Edge patted him on the shoulder, "You'll never know if she does unless you walk out of this bathroom and try your damnedest."

"Good point," He admitted, righting him, "What's the worst that could happen? Emotional disaster?"

"Think positive," Edge urged, "She's not going to reject you completely without at least getting a nice steak dinner out of things."

"Nice," Chris snorted.

Edge sighed, "Come on, Chris; walk with me. We have two intelligent, athletic women at that table. I say we go and impress the hell out of them."

"Fine. I fall on my face and you're a dead man."

Edge snorted as he shoved the door to the bathroom open. Together, they walked into the light of the main dining room, hoping for the very best in each of their relationships.


Go On