????? Smoking languidly, a beer in my hand, and the sounds of a Led Zeppelin song in the background-- life can't get any better than this.

????? Whispers, laughter, and chortles surround me, engulfing my vision, my hearing, my entire world around their absurd insanity. Imagination runs wild in this place. The best stories from humanity spark and breed from here. Worries thrown out the window, no care in the entire goddamn fucking world-- this is how Heaven is supposed to be.

????? Barooms fucking rock.

????? A bar is where I love to be. It's my home, my haven, a place I love to run to where I can't be found until I want to be found. Sitting on my leather stool in a private, secluded area of the bar, the sweet taste of alcohol runs down my throat and trickling down the sides of my mouth.

????? It's so good to lose yourself, to not know where you are, who you are, or what you are and why you're even here. It's a motherfucking rush. Wiping the trails of nectar from my chin, I sigh deeply. A motherfucking rush, I tell you.

????? Led Zeppelin fucking rocks, and so does this song. Always been my favorite by them, and nothing's gonna change it. The cigarette rests comfortably on my lips, the toxins an aroma I can never get tired of. God, this is fucking it. I'm where I wanna be.

????? Some people want fame, others want money, and others wanna be left alone. All I want is a beer, a smoke, and my job. S'bout it, and it can't get any easier than that. S'all I have, and s'all I need.

????? A guy pulls up next to me, ordering a beer and begins to sigh deeply. He's slowly rocking his head to the beat of the song and his eyes are downcast. Something's telling me I know this guy, but I could give a shit.

????? Chugging down the bottle, I slam it onto the table and I begin to laugh gently. Don't know the fucking reason why. This guy next to me kinda sways his attention to me, and then it happens: someone kinda slapped my brain into sense and I can understand why my mind is a fucking asshole.

????? Irony sucks, and my mind is a bitch. Kinda used to it.

????? "Hey," he whispers, and I can see such fucking beauty behind those blue eyes. It's gonna drive me nuts.

????? Last time I met him we had wild sex, and ever since then I've been wanting to rip out my mind and stop it into the ground. I couldn't get his fucking eyes out of my vision, constantly haunting me until I had to get drunk to forget him.

????? Hell, it wasn't even the sex. It was how he was able to understand me, pick me up gently, talk to me like a human being in our drunk stupor. He's a pretty lonely, miserable, private guy, and he's only lookin' for some loving.

????? Almost like me, even though I've got guys like Raven and Dreamer to always lean on. But Raven's got the Punk guy now and Dreamer's got his wife. Had to rely on the bottle, but sometimes not even the taste of my ambrosia, my own fucking blood can give me warmth and love and comfort.

????? So I happened to fall for this guy. Some guy that even Raven said was my eventual soul-mate.

????? And I remember something ironic about this. We met when this song played.

????? I smirk and removed my hand from the bottle. "They're playing our song."

????? He smiles softly, wistful and sorrowful and completely weak, fragile, like glass or a porcelain monument. "Kashmir." Those deep, gorgeous blue eyes lock onto my own, and I feel like I'm falling. "Your favorite."

????? My fingertips begin to touch his hand on the bar gently, reassuringly, afraid slightly that I'm gonna break him or piss him off or both. "Your's too."

????? He lets me touch him, and his eyes sparkle, even in the dimness of the damn darkness of my private spot. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but I do something to stop him.

????? Kinda out of my usual persona, but I just go ahead and plant a kiss right onto his damn sweet, silky, addictive lips. Damn right he doesn't resist, succumbing and slightly crying as I deepen our kiss. Thank God no one can see us.

????? I pull back and cup his chin, gazing into those eyes that I could die looking at. Frustration, anger, self-deprecation, sorrow, confusion-- all of that shit is in his eyes.

????? I think I know how to help him out. Gonna be repetitive, but fuck, he didn't complain the last time.

????? So as the song begins to end and his beer is given to 'em, I pay off our tabs and take him out of the bar, my heaven, my secret refuge. He doesn't say a fucking word, and of course I get pissed off about it. Don't say anything, though.

????? We reached the car, and he's just standing there on the opposite side of the truck, eyes just wandering all around, trying not to meet my gaze. Fed up of the silence, I wait until the door is closed before I speak my peace.

????? "What the fuck is wrong?" I blurt out.

????? "A lot of shit," he answered pitifully.

????? I roll my eyes. "Don't give me that stunt. You know that only Raven can pull it off and he's been doing that shit for years."

????? All right, so I made him smile. Point one for me. "I guess you're right."

????? "So tell me what the hell is going on," I said, grasping onto his arms and pulling him towards me.

????? He's like a fucking rag doll, letting me use him for my own enjoyment. His eyes pierce and stab through my soul, choking up my breath and I can faintly hear my brain yelling at me to stop getting out of my stunned state. Ain't gonna fucking listen to it, like usual.

????? "He..." Trailing off, I saw the very, very faint trace of lines that etched upon his soft cheeks. He had been crying. "He left me."

????? My arms automatically link around him and I hold him. That's all I can really do. But my mind? My mind screams vengeance, so much anger and animosity and seething retribution.

????? The fucker left him!? Jesus Christ no wonder Steve looked like a fucking ghost. I pulled him closer, holding his neck and rubbing it to sooth him, to give him some comfort, some idea that I'll be here, that I AM here.

????? He's so silent, I think he's dead. I know he is on the inside.

????? "Benoit left you?"

????? It was eternity until he whispered it, chips of his soul melting through the silence. "Yeah. He did. Went back to Cena."

????? "Did he--"

????? "I let him."

????? Well fuck, that I wasn't expecting. So I just smile softly and caress his neck, and I softly hate how he just melds right into my body like some part of some soul that I've been looking for... for like, y'know, all my life and that poetic shit. Fuck it.

????? "You're a fucking giving man, Steve," I uttered, kissing his forehead. He's so fucking still... I just wanna knock him right back into reality, feel the live and happiness he gave to everyone, to even ME.

????? His head is buried into the crook of my neck, his breath so soothing and warm right there. "I wanted him to make the choice."

????? "Fucking hurts, huh?"

????? "You have no idea."

????? "Psh, you gotta remember Steve... I had Raven. I had to let him go."

????? "But he's still there--"

????? "So is Benoit."

????? "He's got Cena now."

????? "Like Raven has Punk."

????? "I got no one."

????? I shake my head. It's all I can do. "You're a fucking idiot."

????? "Tell me something I don't know."

????? Gently I push him back, lifting his chin again and pressing our foreheads together. "Y'gotta understand Steve, that shit only works on me if you're Raven, and I don't think you're gonna be sprouting out some Jewish gold hair on me anytime soon."

????? There we go, a smile with a trace of a dimple. And fuck, that laughter? I could die to that too. Ah hell, I better not be falling for him, not after all this time. It was just one fuck! That's it!

????? Then again, once you're bitten by a rattlesnake, you're affected for life.

????? Hate you, Steve. Love you too. God, I hate complicated romances.

????? "And I'm not Jewish either," he muttered, slowly opening his eyes.

????? Hell, I'm sold. No wonders can describe the sheer... utter... aw fuck, I couldn't even describe those blue eyes even if my fucking life depended on it.

????? Unable to bear the fucking angel before me, totally succumbed within my arms, I just kiss him on the lips. Don't know exactly what I'm feeling, don't even know WHY I'm feeling this mucky shit or why I'm even attempting to even love this man... but hell, maybe cause I'm being stubborn.

????? Raven said that Steve Austin was the Sandman's long-lost soulmate. Some match made in Hell, or in Heaven when God was drunk as a louse. Fucking hate you Raven. Love you too.

????? Meh. What's another complicated romance gonna do?

????? I pull back, lost in his sweetness, and I just vaguely whisper out, "Let's get going."

????? He just smiles and sits on his side of the truck. "Yeah."

????? We're not good at formalities. We're good in the sack, have the best beer drinking contests, love to rock out to Black Sabbath, Pantera, AC/DC, Zeppelin, and other shit. Not good at this romance shit. I've been through a bunch of lovers, and I know that Steve has as well.

????? But hell, who gives a fuck. Let's see where this one will get me, this new romance with Steve. 'bout time the Sandman actually get some fucking good luck in this shit called "love."

????? "You have Kashmir?" I hear him request softly.

????? I smirk. "Gonna be your new theme song?"

????? He smirks, and I'm getting chills down my spine. He's fucking sexy and alluring when he smirks evily. "Naw, I was thinking about you. Maybe you can change your name to Kashmir."

????? "Fuck no!" I shout, turning on the engine and heading for the freeway. "Enter Sandman is the shit, and I'm always gonna keep that as my theme song, dammit."

????? "The only thing I like from Metallica are they're first four albums, not the fifth."

????? "But the Black Album is the best one ever! It has my theme song--"

????? "My point exactly!" he shouted, smiling brightly.

????? I growl and turn up the radio to our song. I fucking hate and love him. He's just like Raven, I swear to God. 'cept more livelier. And maybe a little less... less... I don't know. There's a difference between him and Raven.

????? I hate and love you Raven. You are right about me and Steve. Always are right, you bastard.

????? I sped down the highway, Kashmir rocking throughout the truck. This song rocks, complicated love sucks, and irony's a bitch. Three things I learned from life.

????? Let's see what I'll learn from Steve.

????? "Turn the son of a bitch up!" he yelled next to me, turning up the volume and rocking out, the site unbearably, hilariously adorable. "After this we can play AC/DC!"

????? Hmm. Probably won't learn anything good.

????? Fuck it, I ain't no saint myself.






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