????? ... where... where am... what is... how... I--
????? There's so much pain. I can't breathe. My eyes are shut closed, unable to see. I can't scream, I can't talk, I can't... someone help me. God, someone -- anyone -- let me go. Let me out of here. ????? So much darkness and agony... I think I'm going crazy with all this pain and silence and nothingness. I can't move. I want to -- need to get out of here. Nobody can hear my thoughts so... no one is around me. I can just feel it. No one is here. ????? I'm shivering, and I can't stop myself. I don't think my limbs will be able to. Just the fact of being alone, forgotten in this place... a place I can't even see, or hear, or... I don't know where I am. I don't want to be here. I need out. ????? My skin is rippling with the sensations of torture, like pins and needles are being threaded through my skin. God, someone... take me now. Let me go in peace. Oh god, it's too much -- let me go. Please... someone let me go. LET ME GO. ????? Hands roam over me, sticky and slippery with some unknown substance. I don't know... what it is... oh god, so cold. I can't stop shivering. Let me go, please... I'm crying. Let my tears speak for me, show mercy... please! ????? I can just feel their eyes staring through me, like I'm a piece of dead meat on a slab. They want to use me, make me their pet, or their test subject of thousands of unbearable, unthinkable torture. I'm not your slave! I'm a human being! Let me live! Let me GO! ????? Oh God, this is... insane, I can't... I just... no! This isn't real. This is a nightmare. I can move, I can breathe, I can think, I can see, I can do what I always do, I can... live. I'm not dead. I'm not... alive. I am alive. I have to be. ????? Someone... help me. Get me out of here. ????? Its so hard to get my mind from the pain. The darkness has engulfed me so much that all I can feel and focus on is that unbearable pain. I just can't... think... that they are actually weaving something through my skin and out the other side. That's just... no way. I can't believe that. I just CAN'T! ????? Oh please God, help... please, someone. Someone anyone -- God. GET ME OUT. OUT! They won't listen to my tears, and they can't see my cries. I need to get out of here... please, can you hear my sobs? I can't, but I can feel my chest racking up and down, trying to find a way to breathe, to scream. God, listen to me! See me! HELP ME!! ????? I can't hear anything. I don't... they won't. They won't help me. The darkness is getting to me. This abyss of insanity, this prison is making my speak the language of the mad. I can't... BEAR this. I can't TAKE it. I need to think... I need to get out. I need... I need to... ????? I don't know anymore. I'm here, and I am in pain, and I won't get any salvation. There is no such thing as Heaven. Am I in Hell? Was I evil? ... God, take me. Kill me. Murder me. Not this. ANYTHING but this. PLEASE. GET ME OUT. ????? ... I remember. I remember and I heard this gorgeous poem in my head. God, you won't help me. You aren't here. Why? Why me? I made mistakes, but why did you let me become like this? I'm in HELL! I can't move, I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't see, I can't live, I can't die... I'm... I'm trapped... in... ????? I can feel a smile curve on my face, and the pain is beginning to leak out my blood. I can feel the veins seeping it out pint after pint. I just know it. I can feel it. I can FEEL it. ????? I can't remember anything. Can't tell if this is true or dream. Deep down inside I feel to scream... this terrible silence stops me. Now that the war is through with me, I'm waking up I cannot see that there's not much left of me. ????? Nothing is real but pain now. ????? I remember that song. I remember it well. I loved it, and now... it becomes me. It IS me. ????? I always liked the ending. I always did. Screamed to me, made me feel alive, sucked in my soul and my breath as I just heard those lyrics being thrown at me, making me feel the despair and the anguish and the anger and the futility and all the pain. So much pain. ????? Darkness!! Imprisoning me! All that I see-- absolute horror!! I cannot live! I cannot die! Trapped in myself -- body my holding cell! ????? ... it's all true, huh? I'm just lost in myself, trapped within, and no one can hear me. No one can see me. I'm alone. I'm just one... and God won't help me. Let me wish for death, let me go to it. LET ME OUT!! LET ME... ????? They've taken my sight, taken my speech, taken my hair and taken my arms and my legs and even my goddamn fucking soul! I... just... I CAN'T TAKE IT!! I'M IN HELL!! I... ????? I'm left in a life in hell. ????? Those were the last words of that song. God, if I could laugh, I would. ????? A bright light hit my eyes. And for some odd reason, I can see a figure. It isn't God, it isn't the Devil. It's just someone... someone that I know. Someone that will take me from here. ????? I'll be put back here, and I'll face the madness again. It's just something that I'll have to get used to. I'll always forget. I'll forget this place, but it already has consumed my heart. ????? My blackened heart. ????? "Hey Kane," Rob greeted. ????? I smiled back. << back |