The Politics of Kissing

The grinding of pebbles against a wagonwheel disturbed Fiona's sleep.

She yawned, stretching her stiff arms over her head. She was marginally aware that her husband had slumped over behind her in sleep; a snore echoed through the confines of their garlic carriage and she located his drooling, snoring form beside her in the darkness.

Smiling, she watched her husband for a moment. The filtering light of the moon turned his skin a pale blue shade, and the puddle of drool he had expelled turning pearl white. She stoked the tip of his trumpet-shaped eat, causing an unguarded smile to form upon his lips, though he didn't awaken.

Fiona was smiling, too. She glanced over Shrek's shoulder to take a brief glance of the world as it rumbled by. To her surprise, the trees seemed very familiar.

Duloc, she thought to herself. We're almost home.

The word 'home' thrilled her. It felt like ages had filtered by since she and Shrek had left Far Far Away; her bones felt weary from the constant travel. She hadn't had any time to settle into the cottage that would be their home; their palace, she had told her mother as they packed a few important possessions up in her room earlier that day.

Fiona suddenly felt very nervous about this burgeoning next chapter of her life. Shrek's home had felt cozy enough...for the ten minutes she had spent there. Most of that time had been marred by her first argument as a married woman, and his stubborn obstinance. It suddenly, somewhat ridiculously, occurred to her that she was no longer simply the daughter of her father and mother. She was well and truly a wife now, not to mention a woman of her own means. All of the changes felt somewhat overwhelming.

"Ahh," came a cool, Spanish voice from behind her, "So this is Duloc. She...has many trees."

Fiona turned to see Puss, lounging across her wardrobe chest. Beside him sat another cat with silver fur, who shivered against the cold night air.

"She does. You're going to love Duloc, Puss." She smiled. Puss shrugged, tapping his paw against his furry stomach.

"Hah," Spoke the black-wrapped figure from beside Puss. "Surely it will improve upon starving in the forests of Far Far Away."

"Mami! The Princess doesn't..."

"...No, no. I blame not the royal family." The older cat peered back at Fiona, her grey eyes glowing like the moon hanging pregnant over their heads. "You are truly a generous to offer my son and myself a place to stay while we make a casa of our own."

"It was the least I could do. Your son was very brave and bold in my rescue." She only regretted that she couldn't convince the rest of Puss' family to come to Duloc with them, but they had insisted upon staying behind, fending for themselves.

"You're quite sure we're not imposing?"

"Oh, no." Fiona smiled very sweetly, "You're already like family, Carmen."

The elderly cat drew her mantilla over her chest. "It won't be permanent." She said, pride in her voice as she turned to face the road already travelled.

Fiona turned to Puss. "Did Donkey say that he planned on following us?"

"No, my lady." He explained. "He and his lady Dragon flew home with their young ones."

"Of course!" Donkey was a father now. That could only encourage Shrek in a similar direction, Fiona smiled to herself. That was indeed one of the more important functions of being a princess, producing an heir. Fiona had no doubt that this part of her marriage would come in time; they, after all, had been married for less than a month at this point. Her eagerness to do and seek, however, hadn't abated.

The carriage jostled to a stop, and Fiona looked up to see that familiar cottage, glowing in the still twilight.

"Shrek?" She gently shook her husband. "Shrek, we're home..." He continued to snore, and so she bellowed. "SHREK!"

"Wuh!!" He jumped to wakefulness and was so startled that his arm shot out through the back window, accidentally knocked Puss off of the trunk, sending him yowling to the ground. "What is it?"

"We're home."

Shrek tried to shake the cobwebs from his mind. "How long did I sleep?"

"Only six hours."

"And you didn't sleep? I'm sorry, Fi."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." She pushed open the carriage door, jumping out. "Besides, you haven't shown me our new home." She pointed out.

He coughed, clearing his throat. "Well-" The yowling of a cat and the sudden clawing pain of Puss' claws taking a vengeful swipe at his ankle cut off his thought process. "Puss!"

"I had my vengeance, prince." The cat bowed, gallantly, as Shrek glowered down at him, rubbing his ankle. "Please, proceed."

"Right. Well, this is the swamp..." He led Fiona and the two cats into the house. "This is the TV. And the table. The chairs. My cauldron. The bedroom's thatway...Bed's in there." He coughed, tried not to be too shy in front of their guests.

"Don't be embarrassed, Sir." Remarked Carmen, stretching out before the fire pit. "Matters of the marriage bed are familiar to cats, I assure you."

A blush arced high upon Fiona's cheekbones.

"Yeah." Shrek remarked, scratching the back of his neck. "I'd better get the fire going. Puss, you can have the chair."

"Thank you kindly. I promise not to scratch it."

"It would be the one thing ye haven't scratched." Shrek muttered, his ankle still paining him. "Fi, please turn down the blanket. I'll be right in."

Fiona nodded her head, her mind going in a thousand different directions at once. She rummaged in one of the trunks that had been delivered from the burnt-out palace that had housed her during the long, endless hours she had waited for her prince charming. She held a fragile cream-colored nightdress against her breast and sighed.

She had changed clothing and lay beneath the cool, soft sheets when Shrek passed through the doorway. He noticed that she stared at something pinned to the wall as he prepared for bed and slid beside her.

"Whatt're you thinking of, Fi?"

"Huh? Oh." She smiled, shrugging. "I was looking at that." She pointed to a picture, dulled with age, pinned over the door frame. In the glow of the flickering lamp, she could make out a faint drawing on the wall. A tiny green ogre, holding hands with a larger one in a dress. Fiona could almost make out the word. "Did you paint it? Is that you and your mo-"

Shek's face darkened. "It's nothing."

She knew that tone too well. "Shrek..."

"It's nothing, Fiona." His words were blunt and cold. Echoes of the ogre Shrek had once been rippled through Fiona's psyche. "I should have taken it down, but I forgot. It's not something for your eyes."

"It's only fair." She pointed out. "You did look at my diary."

He grumbled, throwing an arm over her waist. "Charming, Charming, Charming." He mumbled smartly, as though the world still echoed in his mind.

She grinned, comfortably lounging in his embrace. Tomorrow she would have to face her new life; a world beyond the limits of pining and royal walls. It would be years until she would be forced to assume royal duty, years she would have to learn to fill creatively. It was a troubling thought, but it did not compell her to wakefulness.

"Welcome home, Fiona." Shrek said against her shoulder.




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